Self Talk Part 3 Be Your Own Best friend.

I hope you have been practising hard, avoiding the negative talk and looking for the constructive between finishing Part 2 and beginning this part. Before you exclaim, Oh No! Not this positive talk rubbish. Let me say, that is exactly what it is! What is more, it amounts to a very simple choice for each one of us.

The choice will come as no surprise! Talk to ourselves and we subtract from our effectiveness. Whereas if we keep positive in our thinking we add to that effectiveness.

There is a book called the Attitude Factor which shows the benefits even to one’s health of being ones own best friend.

But if you found practising it difficult, you may like to use this computer metaphor to help you.. When the thrust of a negative thought appears on the screen in your mind, quite simply you click on a metaphorical “Select All” button in your head and with the whole negative thought captured, then press “Delete!”

If you don’t like that, then audio machines allow us to delete material on CDs and DVDs, so you may prefer the mental imagery of that. Similarly, just imagine your negative thoughts are now on tape and that you simply record positive ones over them.

Another one would be an imaginary form of zapper - rather like the remote control for a TV. Or if the metaphor of putting your mental phone on “divert” works well, then try that.
Going back in your mind to an unrelated past experience filled with success and positive images for you could be yet another.

Think up a strategy which allows you in your own private idiom to zap negative thoughts. This is exactly what professional sports men and women and those in the Armed forces are trained to do to raise their game. There is nothing untried or speculative about it. Practise and it works. Don’t and it doesn’t

Does it begin to work immediately? Yes, certainly with smaller things, but you can get better and better at the bigger issues the more you address negative self-talk head on.

Should you never listen to these negative thoughts?

Well not entirely. Listening only for constructive criticism which can give ourselves great value is to ignore our own potentially valuable warning signals. If the thoughts warn of dire consequences, merely ask yourself, “Does this make sense?” Is the anxiety based on real facts or does it rely merely on instinctive subconscious fear? Just do not give the time of day to the insidious, negative mindless stuff we can sometimes inflict on ourselves all too easily.

And stay with your vivid picture of your unfulfilled new goal. Never lose the opportunity to go making it even more vivid using by reinforcing it from data you obtain. See yourself all the more clearly in the picture and able to reflect on your achievement as though you had already got it done.

Good Luck. Keep your inner voice positive. And if your intellectual good sense still finds it difficult to win over the panic and anxiety, we still have Part 4 left to practise a more structured solution.