Simplifying Psychology to improve Self Esteem is not difficult if one follows some simple steps. That anyone of us can think ourselves out of the game, unable to accomplish something and therefore all in all to want low esteem, is not an earth shattering discovery. We all know people who have a lower self-esteem than us and ones with higher. Yet we can change.
However many of us making any assessment of self-esteem, whether our own or someone else, can make a significant mis-judgment. If they assume that our calculation of our self-esteem level should be the sum total of all our abilities and disabilities and somehow averaged, they would be mistaken.
In fact, each of us is a walking bundle of self-esteem assessments, often arrived at very arbitrarily.
Let me explain. Ask a golfer what his or her handicap is and most will tell you quite authoritively what it is. The Game has a well tried formula.
Not many activities have this feature. So suppose we are given a list of activities and asked to assess our effectiveness. What do we do! Actually we call on our sub-conscious to give us the rating on each one!
So imagine this. You are given a list of 10 activities and ask to give yourswelf a rating (1 being really good and 50 needing a lot of improvement. I would like you to do score yourself in your mind as you read and note what happens. Ready?
Ball room dancing - cooking Thai style – Tennis – Drawing - Writing short stories – Singing - Eating sensibly - Using the Internet - Remembering birthdays and anniversaries - Public Speaking.
Do you notice how some you score highly; others you are a bit down on yourself and the remainder you are damning of yourself.
Why? Either because you are good at it or your parents or teachers told you were wasting your time even trying, or because you never done them and feel a bit inadequate.!
But some fascinating scientifically proven facts about us and the psychology behind self-esteem have emerged in recent years. Follow this simple formula and see how immediately you begin to feel better about things:
• Remind yourself of something you are good at now,
• Then recall what character traits you employed to get so good at it.
• Didn’t you wanted to do it,
• Didn’t you find out how.
• Didn’t you apply yourself and learnt some then alien skill.
So we can rightly deduce that if we apply ourselves in the same way for another activity, using our proven character traits, then hey presto we can excel in any new skill we want to. .Each skill will have its oddities to start with but, so what! we have mastered oddities before!
Simplifying the personal psychology involved immediately improves our sense of self-esteem and shows how we have a stack of eminently transferable character traits.
Select a new simple challenge and try it. You will be amazed.
Friday 26 February 2010
Thursday 25 February 2010
Mentors -- 5 Strategies to Choosing a Mentor for Motivation, Inspiration and Success By Christopher Scott Smith
Mentors aren't just for students considered at-risk -- or for entrepreneurs at risk of failure. In fact, a quality mentoring relationship is valuable to any student, whether the student is engaged in academics, a new business or wants to focus on the business of a meaningful life. Mentors can help students of all types set goals and visualize them, and provide inspiration and guidance. Mentors can also help students recognize setbacks, overcome them, and give laurels for mastery and achievement.
Mentors can also ease the uncertainty of transition -- a phase of most new learning endeavors, whether it's going back to school, learning a new trade or developing new personal talents and disciplines. And since most new endeavors mean new people, projects, practices and new goals--even a new lifestyle--it's easy to feel overwhelmed, especially when attempting to go it alone. With the support and companionship of a mentor, transitions are smoother. Likewise, endeavors become more certain.
School, along with independent business and learning ventures, usually provide a set structure of goals, procedures, best practices and even deadlines. Nevertheless, without inspiration, motivation and guidance, a student's goals can go unrealized. Too often, the student is clueless as to why. A meaningful relationship with a mentor can change that, and optimize options and opportunities for academic, business and personal growth -- self help for real success.
Choosing a Mentor
Consider the Chinese proverb: 'When the student is ready, the teacher shall appear.' So it just makes sense that the student must first know what she is looking for in a
mentor. Making the right decision is key to realizing inspiration, support and guidance from a mentor and the mentoring relationship. That's where visualization comes into play.
Visualization may sound odd, but it's something people do all the time. Whether delivering a virtual valedictorian address to a graduating class, crossing the end zone before an uproarious crowd or scoring high on an important mid-term or job interview, our minds are constantly at work, playing out our aspirations. We visualize our test grades, the types of clients that will grow our careers and businesses in the direction we foresee. Likewise, we visualize our companions and friends -- the people who share our values and goals. Visualization is a powerful determiner of success, so visualize the mentor you envision -- and visualize a perfect fit!
Once you visualize a mentoring genie, consider what influences, values and attributes they'll have that will be important to your goals.
According to the self-help program LifeManual, a "Proven Formula to Create the Life You Desire," mentors play a crucial role in helping people reach their goals. "The job of a mentor is to befriend, challenge, guide and applaud -- providing affirmation in times of success and inspiration when success seems far away," says Peter H. Thomas, LifeManual founder.
"The best goals are aligned with one's personal values, and the best mentor is someone who shares these values," Thomas adds. And it helps if the mentor has completed goals similar to the student's. Consequently, the mentor becomes a role model personified -- a guide with wisdom, firsthand knowledge and expertise.
So how does a student go about choosing a mentor? LifeManual offers five strategies that prove to have a positive impact on the most meaningful mentor-mentee relationship:
1. Personal is Paramount: Respect is in the eye of the student. And respect is personal. Don't rely on other people's opinions of an individual's importance or worth. Choose a mentor whose life path, accomplishments and way of relating to people personally inspires you and motivates you. Choose a mentor that you respect because the mentor respects the goals you envision and the values you honor.
2. Older is Better: Ideally, a mentor should be at least 15 years older than the student. This age difference helps assure that the mentor will have already tackled and achieved goals that are parallel to the student's. The student will benefit from the mentor's wisdom and experience, especially when it comes to setting goals and developing action steps. In all likelihood, an older mentor will furthermore have no interest in unhealthy mentor-mentee competition.
3. Trust is a Treasure: In origin, the word trust means faithful. A faithful, trusted mentor means you can rely on his or her character, ability, truth and strength. You can talk candidly to a trusted mentor and they'll share their candid perspectives and truths with you. They provide affirmation rather than belittling your ambitions. They provide guidance rather than delighting in your challenges and setbacks. And the most faithful trustworthy mentors are usually willing to share their networks with you. Because a faithful, trustworthy mentor has this kind of courage, too.
4. Confirm the Commitment: A mentoring relationship will only work if the mentor actually has a desire to commit to you, and the time to spend with you, even if only for a few hours a month. Likewise, realize that you're also committing to the mentor, and the compensation he or she will prize is your equal commitment, too.
5. Multiple Mentors May Maximize Results: For most students, a one-size-fits-all mentor is improbable. Someone who provides inspiration in academics probably won't be the best person to guide you in the field of athletics. Or, a mentor who has excelled in business or as an entrepreneur may not be the best choice for mentoring your goals as a parent. Choosing two or even three mentors can be a very wise move. More than five will probably hinder progress and success, and make it more difficult to honor your commitment as a 'student.'
Additional Resources
--> The University of Victoria, B.C. has used Thomas' LifePilot seminar program to help link students to mentors. To further help its students, the university provides an extensive list of Mentoring Resources.
--> For tips on setting goals, visualizing them and finding inspiration and motivation to make them happen, LifeManual provides a free PDF Download or Audio File.
As vice president of LifePilot, Christopher Scott Smith oversees the organization’s operations, ensuring efficient and effective management of overall company strategy and budget, as well as the management of personnel and stakeholder relationships. The organization provides values-driven motivational products, programs and workshops for entrepreneurial success, self-help, parenting, and business leadership. LifePilot's net profits are distributed to charities through the Todd Thomas Foundation and the Thomas Foundation. Contact Chris at values@lifemanual.com. Learn more about values, motivation and Chris’ work at LifeManual.com.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Christopher_Scott_Smith
A
Mentors can also ease the uncertainty of transition -- a phase of most new learning endeavors, whether it's going back to school, learning a new trade or developing new personal talents and disciplines. And since most new endeavors mean new people, projects, practices and new goals--even a new lifestyle--it's easy to feel overwhelmed, especially when attempting to go it alone. With the support and companionship of a mentor, transitions are smoother. Likewise, endeavors become more certain.
School, along with independent business and learning ventures, usually provide a set structure of goals, procedures, best practices and even deadlines. Nevertheless, without inspiration, motivation and guidance, a student's goals can go unrealized. Too often, the student is clueless as to why. A meaningful relationship with a mentor can change that, and optimize options and opportunities for academic, business and personal growth -- self help for real success.
Choosing a Mentor
Consider the Chinese proverb: 'When the student is ready, the teacher shall appear.' So it just makes sense that the student must first know what she is looking for in a
mentor. Making the right decision is key to realizing inspiration, support and guidance from a mentor and the mentoring relationship. That's where visualization comes into play.
Visualization may sound odd, but it's something people do all the time. Whether delivering a virtual valedictorian address to a graduating class, crossing the end zone before an uproarious crowd or scoring high on an important mid-term or job interview, our minds are constantly at work, playing out our aspirations. We visualize our test grades, the types of clients that will grow our careers and businesses in the direction we foresee. Likewise, we visualize our companions and friends -- the people who share our values and goals. Visualization is a powerful determiner of success, so visualize the mentor you envision -- and visualize a perfect fit!
Once you visualize a mentoring genie, consider what influences, values and attributes they'll have that will be important to your goals.
According to the self-help program LifeManual, a "Proven Formula to Create the Life You Desire," mentors play a crucial role in helping people reach their goals. "The job of a mentor is to befriend, challenge, guide and applaud -- providing affirmation in times of success and inspiration when success seems far away," says Peter H. Thomas, LifeManual founder.
"The best goals are aligned with one's personal values, and the best mentor is someone who shares these values," Thomas adds. And it helps if the mentor has completed goals similar to the student's. Consequently, the mentor becomes a role model personified -- a guide with wisdom, firsthand knowledge and expertise.
So how does a student go about choosing a mentor? LifeManual offers five strategies that prove to have a positive impact on the most meaningful mentor-mentee relationship:
1. Personal is Paramount: Respect is in the eye of the student. And respect is personal. Don't rely on other people's opinions of an individual's importance or worth. Choose a mentor whose life path, accomplishments and way of relating to people personally inspires you and motivates you. Choose a mentor that you respect because the mentor respects the goals you envision and the values you honor.
2. Older is Better: Ideally, a mentor should be at least 15 years older than the student. This age difference helps assure that the mentor will have already tackled and achieved goals that are parallel to the student's. The student will benefit from the mentor's wisdom and experience, especially when it comes to setting goals and developing action steps. In all likelihood, an older mentor will furthermore have no interest in unhealthy mentor-mentee competition.
3. Trust is a Treasure: In origin, the word trust means faithful. A faithful, trusted mentor means you can rely on his or her character, ability, truth and strength. You can talk candidly to a trusted mentor and they'll share their candid perspectives and truths with you. They provide affirmation rather than belittling your ambitions. They provide guidance rather than delighting in your challenges and setbacks. And the most faithful trustworthy mentors are usually willing to share their networks with you. Because a faithful, trustworthy mentor has this kind of courage, too.
4. Confirm the Commitment: A mentoring relationship will only work if the mentor actually has a desire to commit to you, and the time to spend with you, even if only for a few hours a month. Likewise, realize that you're also committing to the mentor, and the compensation he or she will prize is your equal commitment, too.
5. Multiple Mentors May Maximize Results: For most students, a one-size-fits-all mentor is improbable. Someone who provides inspiration in academics probably won't be the best person to guide you in the field of athletics. Or, a mentor who has excelled in business or as an entrepreneur may not be the best choice for mentoring your goals as a parent. Choosing two or even three mentors can be a very wise move. More than five will probably hinder progress and success, and make it more difficult to honor your commitment as a 'student.'
Additional Resources
--> The University of Victoria, B.C. has used Thomas' LifePilot seminar program to help link students to mentors. To further help its students, the university provides an extensive list of Mentoring Resources.
--> For tips on setting goals, visualizing them and finding inspiration and motivation to make them happen, LifeManual provides a free PDF Download or Audio File.
As vice president of LifePilot, Christopher Scott Smith oversees the organization’s operations, ensuring efficient and effective management of overall company strategy and budget, as well as the management of personnel and stakeholder relationships. The organization provides values-driven motivational products, programs and workshops for entrepreneurial success, self-help, parenting, and business leadership. LifePilot's net profits are distributed to charities through the Todd Thomas Foundation and the Thomas Foundation. Contact Chris at values@lifemanual.com. Learn more about values, motivation and Chris’ work at LifeManual.com.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Christopher_Scott_Smith
A
Wednesday 24 February 2010
Visualisation Of Success: A Vital Ingredient To Win.
The power of visualisation of success, and of a job well done or of a goal achieved are quite extraordinary in human beings. When the success eventually occurs and matches the earlier visualisation, it can make that success appear merely a natural outcome.
So is a really powerful and vivid visualisation of the mission accomplished, a guarantee that success will surely follow? I wish! There are other essential ingredients too. But what is unavoidably true is that, barring rare and quirkish coincidences, if there is no visualisation of success, then success will not occur.
What happens when we visualise an outcome vividly, we provide ourselves cognitively with a defined destination.
Most of us like to go on a journey. But just imagine, being all packed and dressed for a journey, and we turn up at a major railway or airport and ask for a ticket. What will be the question thrown at us immediately? “Where to?”
Now visualise the look on the ticket clerk’s face when we reply, “I don’t know!”
If we don’t know, who does? And if we don’t know, sadly, who much cares?
Cognitive research has produced some fascinating results over the last 30 years. We now know that we get drawn naturally to the most dominant picture in our mind. Try this:
- Settle on some visualisation technique that you like.
- Paint the picture vividly in your mind of exactly where, say, you want to
- spend your next holiday.
- Bring the other senses into play. Hear the sounds. Smell the scents - - --
- Remind yourself what this would mean to you.
- Ensure this no dream. It is an intent.
-Tell yourself when you want to achieve it.
Now watch!
We have just presented our sub conscious with a huge dilemma. It realises on the one hand that our whole cognitive system seems hooked irretrievably on the goal – not a dream – to take this holiday.
Our mental picture has become so all pervasive that the issue of the cost of this particular holiday just has to be solved and not used as an excuse. No quarter must be given to reasons why it is not achievable. As a result, our whole mental and emotional force gets drawn to the result. Heaven and earth will get moved to make it possible!
What is happening within us? Our unconscious mind which stores all our memories and all our latent knowledge and skill, has been presented with the clear picture, the blunt mandate to provide us with the wherewithal to obtain the goal. More than that it will find and create opportunities for us to complete this visualisation foremost in our mind.
The more vivid we make this vital ingredient to win, the less there is room for us fail. Good Luck in all you do.
Sir Gerry Neale has lectured as Visiting Lecturer under-graduates and post graduates at the University of Westminster in cognitive thinking. He has mentored courses for corporate strategic planning and how to position the organisation’s and the individual’s thinking in relation to them. He has conducted counselling and life coaching programmes with individuals in person and on-line.
So is a really powerful and vivid visualisation of the mission accomplished, a guarantee that success will surely follow? I wish! There are other essential ingredients too. But what is unavoidably true is that, barring rare and quirkish coincidences, if there is no visualisation of success, then success will not occur.
What happens when we visualise an outcome vividly, we provide ourselves cognitively with a defined destination.
Most of us like to go on a journey. But just imagine, being all packed and dressed for a journey, and we turn up at a major railway or airport and ask for a ticket. What will be the question thrown at us immediately? “Where to?”
Now visualise the look on the ticket clerk’s face when we reply, “I don’t know!”
If we don’t know, who does? And if we don’t know, sadly, who much cares?
Cognitive research has produced some fascinating results over the last 30 years. We now know that we get drawn naturally to the most dominant picture in our mind. Try this:
- Settle on some visualisation technique that you like.
- Paint the picture vividly in your mind of exactly where, say, you want to
- spend your next holiday.
- Bring the other senses into play. Hear the sounds. Smell the scents - - --
- Remind yourself what this would mean to you.
- Ensure this no dream. It is an intent.
-Tell yourself when you want to achieve it.
Now watch!
We have just presented our sub conscious with a huge dilemma. It realises on the one hand that our whole cognitive system seems hooked irretrievably on the goal – not a dream – to take this holiday.
Our mental picture has become so all pervasive that the issue of the cost of this particular holiday just has to be solved and not used as an excuse. No quarter must be given to reasons why it is not achievable. As a result, our whole mental and emotional force gets drawn to the result. Heaven and earth will get moved to make it possible!
What is happening within us? Our unconscious mind which stores all our memories and all our latent knowledge and skill, has been presented with the clear picture, the blunt mandate to provide us with the wherewithal to obtain the goal. More than that it will find and create opportunities for us to complete this visualisation foremost in our mind.
The more vivid we make this vital ingredient to win, the less there is room for us fail. Good Luck in all you do.
Sir Gerry Neale has lectured as Visiting Lecturer under-graduates and post graduates at the University of Westminster in cognitive thinking. He has mentored courses for corporate strategic planning and how to position the organisation’s and the individual’s thinking in relation to them. He has conducted counselling and life coaching programmes with individuals in person and on-line.
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