Mentors aren't just for students considered at-risk -- or for entrepreneurs at risk of failure. In fact, a quality mentoring relationship is valuable to any student, whether the student is engaged in academics, a new business or wants to focus on the business of a meaningful life. Mentors can help students of all types set goals and visualize them, and provide inspiration and guidance. Mentors can also help students recognize setbacks, overcome them, and give laurels for mastery and achievement.
Mentors can also ease the uncertainty of transition -- a phase of most new learning endeavors, whether it's going back to school, learning a new trade or developing new personal talents and disciplines. And since most new endeavors mean new people, projects, practices and new goals--even a new lifestyle--it's easy to feel overwhelmed, especially when attempting to go it alone. With the support and companionship of a mentor, transitions are smoother. Likewise, endeavors become more certain.
School, along with independent business and learning ventures, usually provide a set structure of goals, procedures, best practices and even deadlines. Nevertheless, without inspiration, motivation and guidance, a student's goals can go unrealized. Too often, the student is clueless as to why. A meaningful relationship with a mentor can change that, and optimize options and opportunities for academic, business and personal growth -- self help for real success.
Choosing a Mentor
Consider the Chinese proverb: 'When the student is ready, the teacher shall appear.' So it just makes sense that the student must first know what she is looking for in a
mentor. Making the right decision is key to realizing inspiration, support and guidance from a mentor and the mentoring relationship. That's where visualization comes into play.
Visualization may sound odd, but it's something people do all the time. Whether delivering a virtual valedictorian address to a graduating class, crossing the end zone before an uproarious crowd or scoring high on an important mid-term or job interview, our minds are constantly at work, playing out our aspirations. We visualize our test grades, the types of clients that will grow our careers and businesses in the direction we foresee. Likewise, we visualize our companions and friends -- the people who share our values and goals. Visualization is a powerful determiner of success, so visualize the mentor you envision -- and visualize a perfect fit!
Once you visualize a mentoring genie, consider what influences, values and attributes they'll have that will be important to your goals.
According to the self-help program LifeManual, a "Proven Formula to Create the Life You Desire," mentors play a crucial role in helping people reach their goals. "The job of a mentor is to befriend, challenge, guide and applaud -- providing affirmation in times of success and inspiration when success seems far away," says Peter H. Thomas, LifeManual founder.
"The best goals are aligned with one's personal values, and the best mentor is someone who shares these values," Thomas adds. And it helps if the mentor has completed goals similar to the student's. Consequently, the mentor becomes a role model personified -- a guide with wisdom, firsthand knowledge and expertise.
So how does a student go about choosing a mentor? LifeManual offers five strategies that prove to have a positive impact on the most meaningful mentor-mentee relationship:
1. Personal is Paramount: Respect is in the eye of the student. And respect is personal. Don't rely on other people's opinions of an individual's importance or worth. Choose a mentor whose life path, accomplishments and way of relating to people personally inspires you and motivates you. Choose a mentor that you respect because the mentor respects the goals you envision and the values you honor.
2. Older is Better: Ideally, a mentor should be at least 15 years older than the student. This age difference helps assure that the mentor will have already tackled and achieved goals that are parallel to the student's. The student will benefit from the mentor's wisdom and experience, especially when it comes to setting goals and developing action steps. In all likelihood, an older mentor will furthermore have no interest in unhealthy mentor-mentee competition.
3. Trust is a Treasure: In origin, the word trust means faithful. A faithful, trusted mentor means you can rely on his or her character, ability, truth and strength. You can talk candidly to a trusted mentor and they'll share their candid perspectives and truths with you. They provide affirmation rather than belittling your ambitions. They provide guidance rather than delighting in your challenges and setbacks. And the most faithful trustworthy mentors are usually willing to share their networks with you. Because a faithful, trustworthy mentor has this kind of courage, too.
4. Confirm the Commitment: A mentoring relationship will only work if the mentor actually has a desire to commit to you, and the time to spend with you, even if only for a few hours a month. Likewise, realize that you're also committing to the mentor, and the compensation he or she will prize is your equal commitment, too.
5. Multiple Mentors May Maximize Results: For most students, a one-size-fits-all mentor is improbable. Someone who provides inspiration in academics probably won't be the best person to guide you in the field of athletics. Or, a mentor who has excelled in business or as an entrepreneur may not be the best choice for mentoring your goals as a parent. Choosing two or even three mentors can be a very wise move. More than five will probably hinder progress and success, and make it more difficult to honor your commitment as a 'student.'
Additional Resources
--> The University of Victoria, B.C. has used Thomas' LifePilot seminar program to help link students to mentors. To further help its students, the university provides an extensive list of Mentoring Resources.
--> For tips on setting goals, visualizing them and finding inspiration and motivation to make them happen, LifeManual provides a free PDF Download or Audio File.
As vice president of LifePilot, Christopher Scott Smith oversees the organization’s operations, ensuring efficient and effective management of overall company strategy and budget, as well as the management of personnel and stakeholder relationships. The organization provides values-driven motivational products, programs and workshops for entrepreneurial success, self-help, parenting, and business leadership. LifePilot's net profits are distributed to charities through the Todd Thomas Foundation and the Thomas Foundation. Contact Chris at values@lifemanual.com. Learn more about values, motivation and Chris’ work at LifeManual.com.
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