First, I need to set this in context.
I agree there are many components to a measurable achievement. To start with one needs to have formed a clear vision of what our intent is. In fact the more substantial it is, then the more we need to see it emblazoned in our minds and feel it in our hearts, just as though it’s achieved – or like an already done-deal.
This ‘visioning process’ is possible by fine-tuning our natural skill of painting vivid pictures in our mind. In turn this needs to be reinforced by coupling it to a strong desire to achieve the successful outcome. These aspects drive the motivation within us. Remember it is the strength of the picture that draws us to find ways to make it become real!
Also our self-esteem can have already been high due to previous lesser achievements. So we can bring that added confidence to our new mission.
Not only that, we can have learned in the context of each goal to condition the way we talk to ourselves to ensure we do not sabotage our efforts.
In addition we can have demonstrated to others a greater effectiveness in achieving a goal than they had thought we were capable of. That too can have fed our self-confidence. We can have found that this confidence, this sense of self-efficacy, can be employed by us to support us as we focus on this next grand mission.
In fact everything about us to a bystander can appear as if we are pretty well guaranteed to achieve the targeted success in its due time. Yet it is amazing just how many apparently goal-driven people can gradually build their list of achievements before suddenly and unexpectedly they touch the nerve of Self-Worth.
The impact can be strange and insidious on our path to achievement.
Yes, we may feel that the particular goal we now have in mind can be achieved by us. The cognitive behavioural mechanics we have applied may be excellent. Yet, for some reason, there is a weird problem. Maybe arises from the realisation of the level of our intended success in terms of wealth. Maybe it is the likely attention of the media and press to what we are embarking on. But something could be ringing mysterious alarm bells inside.
Worse, and strangely, we can actually feel our energy, our drive and motivation being sapped, even though we know that we are capable of success.
Whatever is happening? What is behind this?
It could be our sense of Self-Worth telling us that we do not deserve that level of success we envisage. It could be an inner belief that we are not worthy of that degree of likely public acclaim. In consequence, we feel bound to try to dilute the mission - to take steps to reduce it. And at the same time the lack of belief starts unavoidably striking at the root of our mission and discovering that it continues for as long as it unresolved.
“But where has this come from? Why haven’t I felt it before?”
Probably you have never tested your self-worth to this degree before. Previous goals have been achieved less obviously, perhaps, and with less wealth or overt success attached.
Can this problem be addressed?
Of course! If the limiting sense of what we deserve in life is not too deep seated, we can work to convince ourselves that we do deserve the success and can manage its acclaim.
However, we are far more likely to succeed in that if we try to go back in our mind in order to find the origin for this lack of belief in what we deserve. It could have come from school tutoring. It could have been from parental attitudes or a reaction to a particular experience. It could even have resulted from some idealistic notion we adopted long ago and, whatever the cause, it has lain dormant in us untested until now.
We need then to ask ourselves whether any one of these beliefs is really something we want to continue to live by or whether it should now be reframed to fit the much more capable ‘you’ of today.
Had this been done more often, would it not have saved the good health and even the lives of a number of astonishingly committed and skilled people. Couldn’t it have prevented them from collapsing under the weight of their inevitable success, which in their hearts they felt they did not deserve or could not cope with?Gerry Neale Author of "Squaring Circles" ISBN 9780956868824
