Self-Talk Part 1: Be Your Own Best Friend:

This is an aspect of goal setting and resolution-making we need to take head on, but few people do! This is the Joker in our personal cognitive pack of cards housed in our minds. Just like the Joker on the card table, in cognitive terms our self-talk can count as a beneficial high value card, or - just as easily - a devastatingly low card!

I am assuming that you are disconcerted by your self-talk, for if you were not, why read this article.

So then, we need to apply some real self-discipline at this point. We need to work together to create the most effective strategy for you to harness this feature of ourselves so it works for you rather than against you.

Let’s put Self-Talk in a clear context for a moment. Clearly you have noticed the incessant chatter going on in your head! What is actually going on, you ask? And whose opinion is this inner voice expressing?

The part of you that wants to achieve the goal you have set for yourself, is quietly convinced you can attain it and remains quiet about it..But the other part of you, the part that is certain you will fail or at least is far less convinced of your success, won’t shut up!

But why does part of you think that? And why does it drip feed your mind with these incessant negative messages?

Almost certainly it is because your sub-conscious mind remembers that you have failed before and has never forgotten it! Or maybe it cannot find any evidence you have not done anything similar before and it could simply be because your sub-conscious is not comfortable with your intention to stretch yourself so far. Therefore it tries to discourage you in order to protect you against the risk of failure and disappointment

. ”Ah! My Dad always said I would always buckle under a challenge”. Or “ My English Teacher always said etc etc.”

Yet not a single word has been uttered by you out loud! All this goes on merely in your head, re-playing these thoughts the moment your mind falls idle.

The lesson to be learned from Part 1 is we need to accept that everyone has this type of conversation going on inside their heads. It is not just you that has this problem! We all have it, but what separates the successful from the less so, has a lot to do with the way they manage their self-talk.

We all know how helpful self-talk can be sometimes and yet how parallelising, insidious and de-motivating it can be at other times. Controlling it and directing it is vital for us to be more effective. We need to learn how to think of ourselves as our best friend

I will get on to that in Part 2.