What is more, you can even catch bad habits from the person you love. Who says? The University of Cincinatti, as a result of an intriguing study they have conducted which tests the commitment to achievement in particular and attempts at self-improvement in general. But watch out! You might choose and marry a partner for their good qualities which don’t rub of on you. However their bad ones could be catching almost as if you have been ‘infected’ by them! And here is why.
It seems if your partner, wonderful though they are, is a food addict, the chances are disproportionately high you will become one too. Their drink problem could be yours for the asking. Your commitment to personal fitness could be first neutralised by their laziness and then eventually abandoned.
It seems that good habits in our spouses we don’t catch, but bad ones we do.
How was the research conducted and on whom? It involved married couples or those living together for between 8 and 52 years. It centred on their smoking, drinking, patterns of sleep, exercise and additional health habits.
Significant information emerged for all of us interested in psychology. Men are worse as a negative influence on their partners than women. Yet both when faced with the manifestation of an unhealthy habit or activity in their partner, were reticent or reluctant to comment on it or draw attention to it. It was as though they were signalling their approval. It seemed that that this became a joint consent as one invariably got sucked in to the bad behaviour of the other.
The activity in gay and lesbian couples was more difficult to analyse because it seemed both promoted the bad habits equally.
What I find worrying here is what was not in the research but what could be extrapolated from this.
Imagine a child wanting to run for his or her school - and one day in the Olympics, and the class teacher is a couch potato. More than that he constantly pours scorn on fitness and health, labelling them fanatics.
Think then of how we as parents or grandparents can so easily neutralise the intent and commitment in our children and grandchildren to lead healthier lives. Our smoking or drinking or mere lack of respect for healthy habits could be equally damaging for them. Wouldn’t they too, just like the Cincinatti project proved, be reluctant to try to correct or even criticise their elders, then become complicit and finally prefer to indulge themselves too?
I do hope I am stretching the University findings just too far, but I fear I am not.
I take the message in this as- “Stay well and help find healthy solutions. Don’t become part of the problem however much it hurts for the ones we love.”
Sincerely, I wish you well
Gerry Neale
Sir Gerry Neale is a writer, mentor and artist. His first novel, “Squaring Circles” has been recently published in the UK in paperback (ISBN 9780956868824) It has a strong cognitive behavioural and spiritual theme. More information is available on www.squaringcircles.co.uk. The book is obtainable on Amazon (co.uk) and increasingly in UK bookshops. See other articles by him on http://psychologysimplified.blogspot.com
View his mixedmedia watercolours on www.sirgerrynealeartprints.com
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