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Women Ultimate Multi-Taskers, But That’s Not All!

What many men have admitted privately about most women is now apparently proven!  Women are substantially better at Multi–Tasking than men! So say findings from joint research conducted by the BAR-Ilan University in Israel and by Michigan State University in the USA. The study published in the American Sociological Review shows that both in relation to tasks in the home or outside, women scored higher than their partners. But there is much more to it than that which may surprise men and women.

Yes, women may be better at multi-tasking and may do it for more hours each week. And they may appear to do it in a more accomplished and relaxed way. But for many women this just isn’t so.

Analysis reveals that while women regularly multi-task for longer periods per week than men, they do not multi-task in regard to the same functions. Women are much more involved in the unrelenting housework and child care issues. Men tend to deal with more-off situations and conversations dealing with third parties.

Although, not publicised in the report, my suspicion is that men, maybe conveniently, simply see women as better at homecare and day to day child management issues. More, maybe the men make light of what their partners do because it seems of less strategic importance to the family. In consequence it would follow they have less empathy with the woman’s stress over her multi-tasking role when they are more relaxed about their own.

What the research points to is the fact that the woman’s conventional role is more stressful because it is seen generally by them as a negative experience, whereas men see their own role more positively. But an even more significant observation in the report to me throws up a point that may be many men had not latched on to.

The man’s multi-tasking role is not as definable as a woman’s. But nor is it as identifiable and as ‘public’ as a woman’s. Many child-care issues arise and have to be assessed and managed in real-time AND in front of other people. Therein lies a great cause for stress and a negative sense of being judged harshly or unfairly. It could be said that as a result it is easier for fathers to prove to others around them that they are good parents than it is for mothers doing much of their multi-tasking in public.

The thought I want to add to this from my own perception is a simple but critical one. The research serves to indicate how easy it is for women to form a negative and down-beat view of themselves as day after day they deal with family and home multi-tasking. In my view they should not even go there. They should remind themselves that they are developing a cardinal skill: decision-making. Understandably, hour by hour, day by day they have evaluated situations and made decisions relentlessly , and often under pressure..

So where am I heading with this thought? It is this. With children gone and many women rendered empty nesters, they can too easily overlook this skill training. Worse, they can reinforce the negative thought that they hadn’t managed the child and home care particularly well. And now perhaps wondering about going back to work, they can see themselves lacking anything of worth for an employer.

Rubbish! If one thing is lacking in the world of business, politics and economics it is the skill of making an assessment of given situations, evaluating the best (not perfect) solution, and then making the decision to apply it.

These women are needed! We should make way for them for the common good! What they possess in managerial skills far surpasses any lack of awareness of the workings of a particular business.

Gerry Neale
Author "Squaring Circles"
www.squaringcircles.co.uk

Animals May Be Able To Teach Us Even More!

Our prediction skills for Earthquakes still leaves a lot to be desired. But check this out! Even toads may be able to teach us a thing or two!

http://www.bbc.co.uk/nature/15945014

Best wishes

Gerry Neale

The author of self-discovery novel called "Squaring Circles"
www.amazon.co.uk

Self-Worth And How to Improve It

Achieving a great plan, a grand mission or a goal is a more complex process in some cases than we give credit for. Sometimes goals can prove impossible to achieve for reasons we may at first be unaware of – or if we were aware, we are still unable to understand. At the heart of this issue can be the very nature of our sense of our Self-Worth. This can behave like a strange Joker Card in our personality pack.

First, I need to set this in context.

I agree there are many components to a measurable achievement. To start with one needs to have formed a clear vision of what our intent is. In fact the more substantial it is, then the more we need to see it emblazoned in our minds and feel it in our hearts, just as though it’s achieved – or like an already done-deal.

This ‘visioning process’ is possible by fine-tuning our natural skill of painting vivid pictures in our mind. In turn this needs to be reinforced by coupling it to a strong desire to achieve the successful outcome. These aspects drive the motivation within us. Remember it is the strength of the picture that draws us to find ways to make it become real!

Also our self-esteem can have already been high due to previous lesser achievements. So we can bring that added confidence to our new mission.

Not only that, we can have learned in the context of each goal to condition the way we talk to ourselves to ensure we do not sabotage our efforts.

In addition we can have demonstrated to others a greater effectiveness in achieving a goal than they had thought we were capable of. That too can have fed our self-confidence. We can have found that this confidence, this sense of self-efficacy, can be employed by us to support us as we focus on this next grand mission.

In fact everything about us to a bystander can appear as if we are pretty well guaranteed to achieve the targeted success in its due time. Yet it is amazing just how many apparently goal-driven people can gradually build their list of achievements before suddenly and unexpectedly they touch the nerve of Self-Worth.

The impact can be strange and insidious on our path to achievement.

Yes, we may feel that the particular goal we now have in mind can be achieved by us. The cognitive behavioural mechanics we have applied may be excellent. Yet, for some reason, there is a weird problem. Maybe arises from the realisation of the level of our intended success in terms of wealth. Maybe it is the likely attention of the media and press to what we are embarking on. But something could be ringing mysterious alarm bells inside.

Worse, and strangely, we can actually  feel our energy, our drive and motivation being sapped, even though we know that we are capable of success.

Whatever is happening? What is behind this?

It could be our sense of Self-Worth telling us that we do not deserve that level of success we envisage. It could be an inner belief that we are not worthy of that degree of likely public acclaim. In consequence, we feel bound to try to dilute the mission - to take steps to reduce it. And at the same time the lack of belief starts unavoidably striking at the root of our mission and discovering that it continues for as long as it unresolved.

“But where has this come from? Why haven’t I felt it before?”

Probably you have never tested your self-worth to this degree before. Previous goals have been achieved less obviously, perhaps, and with less wealth or overt success attached.

Can this problem be addressed?

Of course! If the limiting sense of what we deserve in life is not too deep seated, we can work to convince ourselves that we do deserve the success and can manage its acclaim.

However, we are far more likely to succeed in that if we try to go back in our mind in order to find the origin for this lack of belief in what we deserve. It could have come from school tutoring. It could have been from parental attitudes or a reaction to a particular experience. It could even have resulted from some idealistic notion we adopted long ago and, whatever the cause, it has lain dormant in us untested until now.

We need then to ask ourselves whether any one of these beliefs is really something we want to continue to live by or whether it should now be reframed to fit the much more capable ‘you’ of today.

Had this been done more often, would it not have saved the good health and even the lives of a number of astonishingly committed and skilled people. Couldn’t it have prevented them from collapsing under the weight of their inevitable success, which in their hearts they felt they did not deserve or could not cope with?

Gerry Neale Author of "Squaring Circles" ISBN 9780956868824

Create Flatter Not Hierarchical Management Structures To Achieve More, Please!

Managing people successfully clearly means different things to different people, whether they are doing the managing or being managed. Some managers look for unquestioning obedience and servitude. They sustain a hierarchical structure. Their writ to their employees states the requirements which are not to be deviated from. For employees preferring to obey more and think less, this can be attractive – however, my suspicion is that the number of these is dwindling fast.

And recently I witnessed graphically the danger in this – achieved even sixty years ago - as I watched the TV documentary on the little known wartime code breaking operation at Bletchley Park in Buckinghamshire, UK.

The narrator described how the hierarchical structure of the Nazi war machine dictated that there should be total sub-servience and unquestioning obedience to all elements including their top secret communication codes. No-one should question them.

Meanwhile the UK adopted a very different approach to code-breaking. It retained quirky mathematicians and thinkers who would simply not fit into such a hierarchical system. It encouraged them to think outside the box and question everything.

The result? The German code was broken and it is claimed it shortened the war by two years.

It was also intriguing to me to see the elements of intellectual / mathematical intelligence being adopted alongside emotional intelligence, then not truly acknowledged or identified as a valuable human resource.

More and more of us want to contribute to the business process we are involved in. Most of us respond better to inclusive rather than exclusive management styles. True, we do not see things the same way and businesses who see this as a handicap rather than a strength will continue to suffer. Those enterprises adopting flatter management styles will always be able to change far quicker than those very much managed from the top down.

More  to the point, unbeknown to the world, the computer was born at Bletchley on a campus I walked alongside – unknowingly – to catch the train to school!

Gerry Neale author of "Squaring Circles"

www.squaringcircles.co.uk

Psychology Simplified on Achieving Stress Reduction by Rituals

Neuroscience& Biobehavioral Reviews has just published some fascinating research on how we can achieve stress reduction by adopting helpful rituals..

Apparently we can reduce and control our stress in any number of ways unrelated to the challenge we face. For example,  it is now clear that a professional tennis player about to serve a ball, will bounce it one or more times first. Far from this being an attempt to increase the sense of anticipation, it is to reduce and control his stress. The higher the number of bounces the more effective it is!

Even taking a deep breath before starting something testing is a simple example.

Instinctively, and even to the extent we are now unaware of it, we can generate private rituals to reduce our stress. Stopping at a particular point for a break, or even making a cup of tea, can have the same effect.   

The research has been conducted by Tel Aviv University. It took into consideration obsessive compulsive disorder too. Significantly the research centred on the breakdown of the basic ingredients of any human or animal activity.They concluded that there are three parts or stages - preparatory, functional and confirmatory.

The 'functional' activity is the part which must be executed to complete the task. It is separate from and need not be connected or related to the 'preparatory' or 'confirmatory' stages, which can also be termed 'head' or 'tail' stages. So, a tennis player bouncing a ball before the serve is conducting a 'head' function but it does nothing directly to be part of the service action.

It seems that 'head' and 'tail' rituals overplayed can be a sign of obsessive compulsive disorder. But in moderation, 'head' and 'tail' rituals can be extremely helpful in reducing stress before and and after a challenging task.

It can help us too by clearing our mind in better preparation for the testing task we are about to complete.

The research details are now in the public domain.

Gerry Neale
Author of "Squaring Circles" available in paperback from
www.amazon.co.uk
www.squaringcircles.co.uk

Psychology Simplified On The Ten Essential Steps to Any Achievement

The list of steps that follows are not just vital ingredients needed to give you the best guarantee of achieving your mission or aim. There is an added dimension.  It is the simple order in which they are best applied that ensures you stay on the right track to success. Deviate from that and, believe you me, it is like squaring circles! It makes it much harder!

So Step 1 Is Keep To The Order Of The List!

Step 2: Virtualising The Achievement.

Decide exactly what it is you want to achieve. A vague notion, a fuzzy dream, a wish – none of these are enough. It needs to be the clearest picture in your mind of what you want to accomplish. It needs to be pictured as though it is already achieved. Also, it needs to be seen in your mind and felt in your heart as your own great mission. If it would involve, when completed, your heightened awareness of touch, sound and smell too, then include them in your total visualisation. And most significant, there needs to be no thought or concern at this stage for “How It Is To Be Done”.

Step 3: Review Exactly Where You Are Now - Without The Achievement.

See and feel all the downside elements that at the moment dog you, but which would be gone when you had the success you seek. Then focus completely on that gap between that position you occupy now and what it would be like with your mission completed. Really measure this gap in your mind. But most significantly, DO NOT shrink from it and do not try to make it smaller! This is your “Inspiration Gap”! The reason why it is so important is coming in Step 5!

Step 4 Knowing This Is What You Want. 

Here is one question which requires an unequivocal answer of “Yes”. To prepare for it, first restore your vivid picture of your goal to the forefront of your mind. Now your question is this - with that total visualisation described filling your mind and heart, do you feel you really, really want this outcome? However large or small, does it begin to fill you with passion and motivation to achieve it? Even if you do not know how to achieve it yet, does it inspire you to take action?  If you can answer Yes1 Yes! And Yes! Then go on to Step 5. If not, go back and review Step 1 and question yourself on what is failing to give you that energy and drive. Then, address it and insert it in your picture.

Step 5: Setting Yourself Up for A Fall.

This is the potential stumbling block for many people. It is as though suddenly a flawed sense of reality dawns forcing you to ask yourself ‘how am I possibly going to achieve this? How can I somehow narrow this “Inspiration Gap” between the ‘me’ now and ‘me’ with it achieved?’It must be resisted! Why is this so? Cognitive research shows that with achievement we are drawn to our picture of our goal. In other words we are being pulled by it and we are not pushing to get away from where we are. So it is for this very reason that your picture of your targeted achievement needs to be strong and painted first vividly in your mind. It is why it needs to engender that unquenchable desire and motivation to drive you on. Can you see that without that, you are far more inclined to compromise and find ways tp reduce the gap?

Step 6: Live With The Image Of The Achievement.

Have it emblazoned on your mind and then reinforce it by repetition, by review, by mixing with people who have done it already. Do not share it with someone who you know will denigrate it, or who is bound to see it as unachievable for them. Yet do share it with people who will help and encourage you.

Step 7: Set in motion the behavioural mechanics of planned achievement.

Difficult though it may be to accept, the more you enhance and intensify your picture of your plan day by day, three things happen. First it energises you. Second you become ever more consciously aware of opportunities presenting themselves to help you on your journey. So take them! Third, your sub-conscious creativity has been activated big-time! It has been fed the message that you are no longer comfortable where you are. You now want to be drawn towards where you have planned to be. So it goes to work for you! And the more you live with and feed the image of the achievement achieved, the more your creativity will grow to close the gap.

Step 8.  Self-Belief & Self –Worth.

Constantly reinforce your belief that you deserve the outcome and that you can achieve it. And what about negative thoughts? Don’t listen to them or give them air-time! Neutralise them by vocalising your passion and inspiration to accomplish what you have set out to do! Is that easy? No. Is it possible? Definitely!

Step 9:   Fix an end date for the complete achievement.

It sets a time line within which your creativity will produce the result. Big goals can need years! When I was sixteen, I wanted to be a Member of Parliament. I became one – twenty three years later!

Step 10: Start now

And Good Luck! You will need some, but just watch how you will seem to create your own!

Gerry Neale

Gerry is the author of "Squaring Circles", an intriguing novel which is as much of a voyage of self-discovery for the reader as it is for the hero of the book. Details of it can be found on http://www.squaringcircles.co.uk. It is published in paperback ISBN 9780956868824

He writes on psychology and behavioural issues. Articles can be found on
http://psychologysimplified.blogspot.com and as an expert author on Ezine Articles on Achievement and on psychology.