One may ask, why don’t self-improvement systems always work for me? Aren’t they most often well- reviewed books or courses and don’t they clearly work well for many people? And why doesn’t a particular one I have bought work, when I really, really want it to work? Is the invisible killer lurking in that book or course?
No! I would wager it is lurking within yourself.
Does it mean my wish to adopt the new skill or process is lacking?
Most often, no, because clearly you do want to change.
Could there be some obvious reason guaranteeing my failure which only I have not recognised?
Again, most often, No! It is likely that no-one else has spotted the real reason either.
Then, you might ask, is it simply because the key to achieve the change does not lie in the book or the course? Doesn’t it lie in my head and my heart? And what has been lacking previously is the full hearted and total intellectual commitment to it. Without that, isn’t that why I have not succeeded in past attempts?
Yes that is closer to the hidden truth!
But before you rush back to the self-improvement material with not only a new-found zeal but with your will energised to make it happen this time, there is a formal caution. Please do not think applying all the will you can muster will do the trick. It may briefly, but as soon as you relax the will, your particular normal behaviour will return and the possibility to sustain change will slip through your fingers. So, personally, I would not recommend that approach!
So let’s look at where that leaves you? I suspect that you believe you have acquired the detailed tutorial system as to how to solve a current emotional or financial issue. More to the point you believe you have satisfied yourself that that system involved is effective and workable. And now you really want to solve your issue in order to rid yourself of the inhibitions your current situation causes you. So, you might go back to square one and say that all I need to do now is read it diligently and then apply it
But haven’t you tried to do just that before and it didn’t work?
The surprise is that the invisible killer to self-improvement techniques most often resides within us; it has been harboured by us very often for years and relates to one or more cognitive issues of self-image, self-worth, self-esteem,.or even believe it not spirituarity
So how can one best address this?
As acknowledged, intellectually, we can see our current problem perfectly clearly. Equally we can see how, if adopted by us, the self-improvement technique would work and provide us with a solution. But emotionally or spiritually it is different. Deep inside, we could have a different problem which is handicapping us.
It is this. To acquire the self-improvement technique could put us so far out of a largely sub-conscious comfort zone. We were barely aware of its existence until the current situation unearthed it. No matter what, and no matter how hard we read or study, we are somehow neutered by this.
Consider this! Suppose the new technique is a wealth creation system. Maybe our family was never wealthy, in fact it eschewed wealth creation and counselled a frugal life. So, maybe consciously as a young person we wanted to change all that, but sub-consciously we did not. Why? Because we did not want to be seen to be disloyal to that long-standing family culture.
Maybe the self-improvement technique we have obtained is in itself a self-improvement technique which can be made available to others. Neverthless we have this sub-conscious doubt that if we cannot learn it then nor will they. So as we study, we are actually always doubting and questioning.
Maybe it is admitted by the creators of the technique that it is very profitable largely because so many people buy it although very few actually apply it. While for some that is no issue, ( they say: it is not for me to make a judgement about whether the purchasers adopt it or not’) for you it may be different. Maybe you are not comfortable about that. So your actual buy-in and commitment to the technique is muted and fails.
Of course it could be more simple still. It could be that you want to change, but you have a nagging doubt and lack of any sense of self-worth to pull it off.
I would suggest that you reflect quietly and honestly at the outset. Imagine you have completed the self-improvement. Visualise it completely and in your mind and your heart assess how you feel about that. Notice how little emotional indicators will pop as feelings you can identify. They could be intense or minor.
My advice is that you feel those feelings and decide on one of two outcomes.
First, if the feelings are not all-enveloping or traumatic, then take a deep breath and get cracking on the new technique, silencing yourself when the negative feelings reappear.
Or second, accept the feelings amount to a real emotional block. On that basis, it is best to investigate the origin. So take the preliminary step of seeking out advice or a book on that block before embarking on your main solution.
One amazing feature of our age is that there is not one single narrow aspect of Life that there isn’t at least one book written on it. So obtain it and first enjoy the sense of self-discovery as well as the later and more likely acquisition of your new skill or solution.
Good luck with it.
Gerry Neale
Author of Squaring Circles - A Novel of Self-Discovery www.squaringcircles.co.uk
Available at www.amazon.co.uk
Available at www.amazon.co.uk
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